John Duffin | JD@DUFFINMEDIA.COM | (215) 28O-5426
Welcome back to Your Message Received!
Hey folks, John Duffin here from DuffinMedia.
Your Message Received is YOUR podcast
for all things voice…
Tips, strategies, success stories, ways to use your voice
to get what you want…to get your message conveyed…
command more respect… attract more attention…
develop and enhance relationships.
You’ll use the command in your voice to elicit sympathy, empathy, assertiveness… command
all of the things that are critical in terms of success
as it relates to business
On today’s episode, I want to introduce the concept of adjusting the speed of your thoughts and controlling your voice…
by being truer to you… unencumbered, so to speak…
When we got started in the first episode…
we were talking about several things relating to my business and voice experience.
You may recall I launched my company DuffinMedia…
after a 28-year Broadcast Ad Sales and Sales Management career.
I’ve aligned my current voiceover experience with my broadcast sales background…
and this allows me the opportunity to come from a unique vantage point
in regard to insights into effective speaking.
The point here is that your full intended message is accurately heard and received!
That’s a little bit about what I’ve done.
Here’s a little more about who I am.
I often think and wonder about why I chose this particular journey
both professionally and personally.
Again, I had close to 29 years of successful media sales background.
I was lucky…that I got the chance to work with
and develop relationships with the largest advertisers
locally and nationally.
I was fully in my comfort zone…perhaps too much so…
while I’m happy and privileged to share that sort of resume type information with you.
So, you know, it’s always been more difficult for me to share personal information.
I figured this would be a good opportunity to share a little more about me…
In doing so, perhaps you could see how my ability to be more confident and transparent has helped me
to better communicate… and perhaps it’ll benefit you as well
I was just interviewed recently
and I was asked this question…
Was I always able to be the way I currently am?
Meaning confident to take risks…
to be transparent… to answer challenges directly… head-on
to believe in my ability to use my voice!
and the answer was no, No, NO!
I remember when I was young.
I didn’t have a lot of friends. I was painfully shy…
I was The Bookworm Type.
Hey, if this tells you anything about me…
I’m a card-carrying member of the Vacation Reading Club at the Free Library of Philadelphia.
I love to learn and that’s still true for me now…by the way,
but the fact is it was always a challenge for me
to communicate clearly…and by clearly…I mean really honestly…
It was really hard on me.
Look, I was told for a lot of years…that people really liked my voice… but I would dismiss those compliments.
In fact, I became really guarded in my early adult years.
Now…I was always a good listener
and I was typically sympathetic when it regarded you
but I rarely told you anything about me.
Hey, I can remember years ago…Now I’m an adult
and I’m living at my current location in Philadelphia.
I can remember being up at the pool in my building
and somebody I felt really close to… neighbor/ friend says to me in conversation.
I don’t feel like I know anything about you!
That really took me aback because I actually felt very close to this person
Then a couple things changed my life.
Number one. I’m gay. What changed is that I finally came out of the closet
when I was over 40 years old!
In fact, I almost had to be pulled out of the closet to do it.
I don’t mean that in a bad way
what I mean is that I had some really supportive family members who helped me come out.
I wasn’t the one at the time who thought it was time, but let me tell you this
you’ll know when it’s time… if that happens to be you.
And by the way, if it is you… if you happen to be gay lesbian transgender bisexual questioning
and if you ever want to talk to anybody,
you’ve got me as an ally.
Oh and here’s another thing.
I’m a recovering alcoholic. I’m lucky to say that I have a little bit over 19 1/2 and a half years of sobriety
You might be asking yourself…
Okay, what does this have to do with anything.
Yeah, I get it… He’s gay, alcoholic… whatever.
Here’s what I’ll say…
by admitting these things… by being more true to me…
It turned out I was able to become more engaging
as a friend, as a family member…
and as a business partner too!
How? Here’s how! One of the biggest things that changed for me
in regard to my ability to converse, to communicate.
to stay in a conversation longer.
Part of the improvement is simply because I’m truer to me
Because of the fact that I was able to drop my guard
I was able to actually think more quickly on my feet.
See my mind didn’t race back or forward
worrying about what might be coming or what you might be thinking.
Oh, and by the way, believe me… people hear that fear and distance in your voice.
Pain and discomfort are so easy to hear and really difficult to hide
and when you’re masking things,
any other message that you’re intending to convey…
tends to get lost in this cloud of discomfort.
After I came out. I was no longer foolishly anticipating, no longer worrying….
Oh God… I hope they don’t think I’m gay.
Oh God… I hope they don’t smell the alcohol on me
When I got sober,
I became even more honest and I dropped my guard even further.
We all have secrets. We have things we prefer to hide…
and I’m not asking anyone… and certainly, not you…
to turn business situations into private confessionals.
Ultimately, a business relationship is about THEM! However- your voice demonstrates what’s in it for them!!!
You’re just trying to be a little bit more true to you…
What did that do for me?
As I said,
it was really hard to come out of the closet.
It was really tough to admit that I was an alcoholic
but when I got honest and accepted help…
my relationships changed… and my communication skills drastically improved!
So… for communicating in business I offer this example
in order to keep a conversation going purposefully…
in order to think and respond faster…
your voice has to convey trust, confidence, empathy.
Nothing forced or fake…
and being more authentic, simply enables you to engage better
so that you can control the tempo…
so that you can use your voice strategically as you intended.
Situations tend to slow down as a result.
You’ll naturally speak more calmly and assuredly,
What I’ve learned, and continue to learn…
is that as opposed to anticipating the next question or anticipating an objection…
I am better served when I can slow the communication down.
I slow the convo down by slowing my mind down.
and I do this- by being fully present- and then I’m able to respond appropriately…and in real time…AUTHENTICALLY!
Your voice becomes the conduit for all of that.
When you want to be more authentic and in control of your voice…in business
drop your guard a little…or a lot. It’s up to you.
We’re going to continue to focus on ways that you can get your message received.
So to wrap up… your voice is the final point of vocal communications…
adjust the pace by adjusting your mind.
Be calm, be present, be true to YOU!
They will hear it in your voice!
Thanks so much for joining me for this episode of Your Message Received!
This is John Duffin…DuffinMedia.
I can’t wait to share more with you!
Speaking of share…please make sure to like and share this podcast with anyone who may benefit.
Please also send me a note on any questions on the topic
and any suggestions for future episode topics.’
Thanks so much again for tuning into Your Message Received…and we will talk soon.
At DuffinMedia. We’ll keep running your voice-overs to the finish!
and we’re going to tell your story exactly the way you want it told.
Have a great day all. Bye.
John Duffin | JD@DUFFINMEDIA.COM | (215) 28O-5426